The best service comes when we can be fully present and communicate specifically. There are seeds that must be planted and watered for us to have access to these twin super powers - presence and specificity.
Spiritual practice makes presence possible and hospitality makes specificity possible. I reach this goal with myself and others, not through critique but through gratitude and my own increased practice.
When the server brings an order that is different than what I requested; when the cashier asks 5 questions before attempting to honor a request; when the bodyworker doesn’t know I’m cold until chill bumps form OR when the Lyft driver gets 4 stars instead of 5… we can note that presence and/or hospitality were missing. ^1
Judgement will not get us where we want to go. If we are stewarding a space, a service, people or a process, when we become aware that presence or hospitality were missing we first apply gratitude. Gratitude is the best antidote to judgement that I know. Get there how you can. But most often I think of myself as creating a mini ceremony for the space or person in question where I acknowledge the ways that they/it have been present and the ways I have experienced them/it exceed my intentions and expectations in the past. Gratitude is in invitation, an invocation for presence and love. Ideally, we are on the same team and gratitude allows us to activate that awareness and common mission.
Second, I apply hospitality. Hospitality creates a space for moving back into alignment with our purpose, our mission, our intention. By deciding, by choosing to create a little space for gratitude we have already activated hospitality. Then we deepen it and make it explicit. Get there how you can. But most often, now that we are present to our alignment, I invite us to figure out together the best path to living out the alignment more completely and 100% consistently in the future. Do they need more breaks? Do they need more team support? Is there a process in place that does not serve our intention? The event, the momentary misalignment or lapse in presence, can be a gift for all involved.
This includes a presencing to an uncommon phenomenon - there are no exceptions to our standard and yet there are no consequences for loosing presence. You may ask how then can you maintain a standard. Well, I believe that it is not in alignment to elevate someone to a role that they are not ready to play. Nor is it in alignment to keep someone in a role that they have moved beyond. Therefore, if the commitment is not there, it is not a matter of “firing” a poor performer once they demonstrate and testify to an inability. It is a matter of maintaining alignment and resonance.
Finally, I offer more practice myself in the area where the alignment slipped. I take it on like I am 100% responsible, like I am the one who requires more practice in that area and generally more practice being present. I make amends with whomever it was that was a part of the event. I want the guest, the customer, the client to feel blessed by the growth moment. (…like they put gluten in my salad that I didn’t want but look the chef made me a personalized gluten dessert and my meal was free. I prefer the experience I had to the one I expected. Because the truth is everything is happening FOR us, FOR our good. And as spiritual service practitioners, we get to help all those around us be more present to that truth to the best of our ability.
All of this is happening in the context of a spiritual community in spiritual practice. Another way to phrase it is that this is possible in a community committed to expanded awareness and its practice.
Peace,
Sangodare
^1 When the server brings an order that is different than what I requested…
When we are in the role of server we must slowly and deliberately double check what we heard as the order. Then, everything that comes out of the kitchen should be calmly double checked by the server - the one interfacing with the guest. Then we must be attentive to the guest while still giving them space to enjoy their order and return to confirm that everything is to their liking. Finally, anything that needs to be changed must be changed with no thought to blame. The guest did not order poorly, the server did not place the order poorly, the kitchen did not cook poorly; … but whatever needs to change in the moment can be changed graciously.
When the cashier asks 5 questions before attempting to honor a request…
When a guest or customer makes a request it will likely feel very affirming to them if their request is simply repeated/confirmed with gratitude for them making it and then we, in our role as cashier or receptionist, take a step to honor it. Often we need more information but leaning into our role means we endeavor to offer answers more than we endeavor to ask questions.
When the bodyworker doesn’t know I’m cold until chill bumps form…
When a guest arrives it is our responsibility to make it completely clear that we want to hear every request. We want to make the space and their experience as tailored to their liking as possible. So, it takes more than, “let me know if you need anything…”. It takes asking about multiple preferences in an eager and gracious way AND THEN waiting in stillness and silence for them to consider if they need anything. For example, “Are you comfortable.” We can do better. If we are truly asking a question with the intention to serve up our best hospitality we have to give a few moments and also give the verbal suggestion for them to take a moment and see how you feel. Then add multiple things that could be adjusted - a pillow placed somewhere, the temperature adjusted, a blanket. Then once we move on we can come back to remind our guest that anything that needs to be shifted can be. Let them know that it is totally ok and very welcomed, even necessary, for them to let you know anything they might need. AND AND AND anything that they would like to stop from happening too, right? Consent is important. Check in. Examples could be is it ok for me to touch your shoulder, is it ok to play this music, do you prefer silence during this service or session, etc.
When the Lyft driver gets 4 stars instead of 5…
I used to get into Ubers and Lyfts and the drivers had signs saying all the things they could adjust and all the services they could provide - the music, the a/c, the temperature, gum, water, hand sanitizer a charging cord. This was at a time when they DECIDED to give 100% excellent service every time. I rarely get more than the confirming of my name and a salutation these days. It is easy to return to service whether or not we decide it is a part of what makes us grow and transform for the better.
