Some of us are wounded in such a way that we embody and reproduce the very blocks we experience. I know a guy. Let’s call him Bob. Bob didn’t have access to the creative spaces he needed so Bob becomes a stickler for details abusing his assistant manager power at his job. But what if Bob became hospitality and facilitated extracurricular activities with his coworkers. I got a chance to generate compassion interacting with a new person that started working in concierge at my building. It seemed to me that she was very committed to NOT providing support.
Afterward First:
How is this musing encouraging me to grow?
because wouldn’t it be nice to benefit from hindsight in the beginning
Why is it so easy to always lead with compassion and generosity regardless of what comes at me?
We had been getting packages for more than a year, even during the height of 2020 quarantine ( a major challenge for all) until one person decided we shouldn’t. Some of my packages have my priestly name on them which is not on the lease. However, the address and unit number are clearly marked on each package. A new employee began working and all of a sudden getting our packages got interrupted because the names did not match. At first I was angry and aggravated. I vacillated between anger and antagonism on one hand and trying to see her logic on the other. Once I got that out of my system I was able to easily find my roots, my practice. Presence.
Ultimately, what I came to was compassion. It occurred to me that she must be profoundly uncommitted to her role which is solely to provide hospitality, support and service to those who occupy or visit this building. I thought about how I might feel if I were spending the majority of my time in a role that I did not feel committed to nor inspired to show up in, show up in my excellence. I decided that if there was a limit to her/the management’s capacity to provide a service that they had committed to and had previously provided then I wanted to understand what needed to happen, change, shift. No blame game.
The very day I made that decision, that it could be fun or at least amusing because it was odd to me. The very day I decided that I would relate to the person as I always did and add some gratitude is the day that the block was removed. I don’t know what may have happened behind the scenes but she began to be quite helpful.
I am thankful for my practices. Because, though I don’t like confrontation, I somehow also romanticize a righteous battle; witnessing the profound inefficiency of a process or system because at least in my mind I get to figure out how to fix it.
A little rudeness… I would never but a “War of the Roses” or “Hatfield vs McCoys” epic stand-off tempts me into the poetics of battle. #TheArtofWar
Go Figure.
Trees bend in the wind but don’t often break. When something is growing in soil but is not deeply rooted the wind can blow it right up out of the ground. When deeply rooted or especially if part of a root system that is connected to other things growing it can be nearly impossible to uproot them. Because I am rooted in practice, because I am rooted in community, because I am rooted in my passionate work and purpose, things like poor service or unnecessarily difficult people (even when the isms) do not meaningfully impact my ability to stand, stay rooted. They do not stand in my way. AND I do not become an obstacle to anyone else (even if they kinda maybe seem like they deserve it.)
Peace,
Sangodare
